I've been meaning to add my Sparks story since I joined the list in February. Its taken the Sparks-O-Rama experience and Madelines stories to get me inspired. Besides, its good therapy for me to get my thoughts down. I put it down in three segments - How they came into my life (1975), the first time I finally got to see them play live (1982) and the first time I got to actually meet them (1983).
Part One
March 1975. I was into strange music already by the time I was 18 (having been ruined by seeing the New York Dolls live - how they came to play in Denver, Colorado is a miracle) such as Bowie, T Rex, Roxy Music and I hated the dinosaur rock or progressive rock bands that ruled the airwaves during this era.
Anyway, I usually stayed in my basement room playing music and only would venture out into the living room to watch late night rock concert programs. I happened to be watching Don Kirshners Rock Concert and I was in for a wonderfully rude awakening.
This wonderful, wacky and off kilter band called SPARKS came on and proceeded to short circuit my TV and my brain. I felt as if I was hit by a jack hammer while being tickled with a million feathers at the same time, something strange like that. It hurt my brain to watch them, all that cacophony, but then again they were so hilarious and kinetically weird that I laughed out loud. I wanted to yell out loud - This is the coolest band Ive ever seen but I didnt feel like waking my parents; they already thought I was strange. Ive never felt such a jolt as I did when I heard Sparks crash into This Town Aint Big Enough for Both of Us. I couldnt get over pretty boy Russell, with that curly hair and his frantic falsetto singing and jerky dancing.
The band looked English to me and really rocked out in this hyper active fashion . Then there was RONALD. What a sight to behold. I was smitten from the moment I laid eyes on this madman - so serene, so severe, so whacked out of his mind and so out of place with the rest of the band. I think they also did Hasta Manana and Talent Is An Asset, its hard to remember what exactly they did play because I was still in a state of shock and euphoria. I had to find out more about this band. I had to buy their record or anything they had out. I had to do it NOW!
Well, the record stores werent open at midnight so the very next day I ran out to the record store and as luck would have it, I found a copy of Kimono My House. Ron and Russell were brothers - that was a real revelation to me, with Ronald writing the songs too! You can ask my mom, but that record never left my turntable for one moment while I was at home. (It was only replaced when I bought Propaganda and the first two Sparks albums).
I would sing to every single song over and over again, gaze at the album cover and start all over again. I think I hurt myself singing in that falsetto along with Russ. Im sure that I can never have children, oh well, (who dont like kids.) I typed all the lyrics on my little rickety typewriter to better memorize them. I started cutting out each and every Sparks item from Rock Scene, Hit Parader and other rock rags of the day. Also, as Mary Martin would find out, I joined the fan club...pronto. (Im still a proud card carrying member today.) I was so obsessed with Sparks that I wrote a letter each day to the fan club for the first few years, droning on how much I loved Ron and Russ, especially Ronald, and I would send off many questionnaires to Mary to answer. She so kindly obliged me with my requests and questionnaires. She said that Ron and Russ read ALL my letters and small trinkets that I would send them. My prized possession was a handwritten postcard from Ron (Farmers Market) but someone stole it from my apartment during a party. I should have put it in a locked safe! I still have those hand-written questionnaires from Mary amongst my Sparks treasures.
I asked such juvenile questions as What kind of pajamas do Ron and Russ wear (never got an answer to this question though I did ask on several occasions), and lots of Ron inquiries (what gum does he chew, what kind of dances does Ron like to do? his favorite foreign film, what he thought of Citizen Kane and Rita Tushingman...it was endless. Poor Mary. I figured Russell must have gotten loads of mail being the handsomest singer around but Ron really fascinated me. Did he always wear that white shirt? Does he speak? My mom thought I was insane whenever I would tell her this is the man Im going to marry and show her Rons picture (Chaplin/Hitler mustache, skinny, pale, strange - my type). I think she thought he was a murderer or demented madman.
Eventually, I got my mom, my aunt (she was in the fan club for a year) and my two best friends, Carmina and Luigina, to become Sparks fans. They had to throw in the towel and just give in to my insanity - they had not choice, Im very persistent and obsessed. I guess it was contagious or something. Mael Mania, indeed.
Part Two - Ron Was a Mael Order Bride
I didnt get to see Sparks play live until 1982, seven years after discovering them on Don Kirshner. They were to play a concert in Denver in 1975 but it got canceled due to lack of interest. As far as I know, tickets never went on sale, but Im sure only five tickets would have been sold! I was crushed and devastated and Mary Martin did her best to ease my utter disappointment by sending me tour programs. She suggested that I may have to save up my pennies in order to take a trip to California to see Ron and Russ on one of their future concerts.
It took awhile, but eventually I moved to San Francisco in 1980. Not just because of Sparks, though that was a thought in the back of my mind, but because I was in a band and Denver was too remote from what was happening in the music world. It was fortunate, that this move occurred, however, as I finally got to see Sparks play a concert in 1982, during their Angst tour.
I was anxious when I walked into the Stone in San Francisco. I had waited so long to finally see Sparks and theyd gone through various transformations since the Kimono/Propaganda days during the height of my mania for the band. Would I be disappointed at the new Sparks, would I feel as if this was an anti-climatic event having waited so long, did outgrow my teenage infatuation with Ron? By 1982, they had gone through many transformations in band members, musical styles and haircuts alone. The days of Hasta Manana seemed a distant fond memory.
The small club was packed with avid Sparks fans and curiosity seekers. I came with my future ex-husband (?) to the concert; he actually liked Angst and Whomp That Sucker but not their Kimono/Propaganda and early avant gardish stuff. Both he and my friend, Carolyn, came to the concert because of curiosity partly due to my fanatical ramblings. I would have gone by myself to see my idols. The excitement starts to build within the audience, then the stage darkens and out come....SPARKS.
Everyone but Ronald was clad in silver sequined suits, Ron opted for his usual Walter Mitty/banker attire. They immediately blasted into Sextown USA and were off into hyperspace - and so was I. Even after all these years, their charisma and charm, their uniqueness and their wacky sense of style seemed intact, despite the new band and the years! The band really rocked and seemed to be enjoying themselves immensely - smiling broadly and jumping all around - but they did not upstage Russell and his dance stylings. The suits sparkled superbly and Russell was as gorgeous as ever, though his vocals were not so falsetto as before but they didnt need to be - since they concentrated heavily on the Angst and Whomp albums. The did play a song for the older fans out there and nearly tore the house apart with a great version of Something for the Girl With Everything. At long last, I got to hear them sing a song from that wonderful era when I first fell in love with Sparks.
I got a setlist after the show from one of the roadies and I noticed they sort of wrote in Something as if it were an afterthought. Though, they did not play This Town, I wasnt disappointed in the least because I was so happy to hear and see them in the flesh. Ronald seemed as twisted as before but now there was a mischievous twinkle in his eye or is it mustache. At least the glimmer was there and more evident than before.
I have never seen a person with so much charisma and star quality as Ron - he commands your attention by just standing there - he only has to do that Ron sideways glance to have the entire club riveted to him. I would have been happy with this Academy Award Performance but Ronald actually did some truly amazing things - Im convinced hes a huge Hollywood hammy comedian at heart. First off, during Mickey Mouse I saw him perform that Ron dance for the first time ever, Id never seen him move at all before. It seemed to go on for several minutes and the crowd was yelling, whistling, jumping up and down and yelling Rons name I think I yelled his name several times throughout the evening, to the point where Les Boehm started to crack up laughing halfway through the set. It was hard to miss me right up front and going totally berserk! Ron, Ron, Ron! Get Crazy.
I was ecstatic up to this point but Ron proceeded to up the ante and graced with yet another dance number - a striptease during I Predict Why isnt this man famous? Its criminal the way hes not a worldwide star. Slowly, he stripped down to his boxer shorts and finished the set behind his keyboards with a bathrobe thrown over his skinny shoulders. This was the last number so Ronald didnt have to freeze for too long. He gave new meaning to the word Sex Symbol. I would have a poster of him modeling boxer shorts on my wall anytime!
The piece de resistance was the encore. The crowd was hoarse from yelling, teary eyed from rolling with laughter, and exhausted from the bands energy but we had to have more. Out came the band, Russell (having wiped the sweat off his brow) and Ronald (he doesnt sweat at all.) Ron was wearing that wedding gown from the Angst cover! I could go onto Heaven now, Ive seen Ron do it all - dance, strip and now in wedding drag. I couldnt have asked for anything more except for his hand in marriage. I know, Im not a well woman. I wonder what my future ex thought of my love affair with Ron Mael. No, we did not divorce because of Ron...dont be silly. They, of course, ended with Wacky Women.
The people in attendance, I'm sure, we never the same again. The earth was shaking, so am I! Even though I thought that club should have been immortalized in stone for eternity to preserve the event, I actually sang with my band on that very stage a few months later. I think I kissed the ground, to be on the same stage as Sparks had played on.
I was on another planet, a different one that I usually live on, for many weeks after this momentous event. Of course, I wrote Mary Martin and told her of my experience and sent her some cool photos that this photographer gave me of the concert. One picture proudly showed my Mael Order Bride - Ron Mael. I was to see them twice more within a one year period before I actually met them face to face.
Part Three - Sparks Go Hawaiian, Fan Wipes Out
October 11, 1983. Sparks were playing a special Sparks Go Hawaiian concert at the Greek Theater in LA. As the gods decided to be kind to me, my friends, Translator, were asked to open for Sparks.
Well, they knew I was a BIG FAN and since my future ex-husband, Floyd, was Translators soundman , there was no way that I WAS NOT GOING to travel from San Francisco to LA for the show. Of course, I was going, no question about it.
I wrote to Mary Martin and told her that I was going to be in LA and was going to be a backstage guest of TRANSLATOR etc. Its funny, Mary Martin is the person that Ive written the most letters to of anyone else I know in my life, even though I havent written to her that much in the past few years. Anyway, to add a special touch on the trip, my friends and I stayed at the Tropicana Hotel, a fave spot of Rons, I understand.
Day of the show. Translator and Co. were busy doing their soundcheck for the show. Im in the backstage area hanging by myself and feeling knots in my stomach from nervousness. I cant believe Im in this privileged position!
While I was trying to act ultra cool and nonchalant, I was approached by this older woman who asked Are you Jo Ann? Yes, I said. My friends standing nearby, looked at me and thought, whoa, you REALLY are a big fan if they know who you are by name? This woman said: Well, Mary Martin couldnt be here because she had oral surgery. Im her mother (what!) but she wanted me to say hello and express her regret at not getting to finally meet you I was flabbergasted! I thought it was rather strange that her mother would be there to take Marys place selling Sparks merchandise, but okay. I was disappointed but the more I thought about it the mom sure knew who I was and came up to me without hesitation. I told Mary what I looked like etc. I was confused - was Mary Martin Ron and Russ sister (I thought this for awhile), was Marys mother really Mary, after all. Was there really a Mary? Well, thats another subject. However, I did find out that Marys parents were at the concert that night selling Sparks merchandise and looking pretty comfortable doing it, I might add.
I went back to loitering in the hallways. After a short time and I look up to see the ENTIRE band walking towards me. I had nowhere to hide or run to, I felt like a trapped rat. I try to look like Im busy but what could I possibly be doing in the hallway, except waiting and loitering. What a dork!!! Ron and Russ were leading the pack, carrying their costumes for the show. As the band pass me, Russell has a slight look of trepidation on his part and looks like hes not sure what Im gonna do, the other members look at me as well, trying to keep straight faces. Were all just looking at one another. Finally, Ronald breaks the silence by Hello and smiling broadly at me. He spoke to ME! Mary Martin had said that he and Ron used to read all my letters, so I wondered if he really did know how crazy I was. I used to send him all those presents (a miniature piano, snowdomes, a mustache comb etc.) so I felt so embarrassed seeing him in person. I figured thats why he was the only one to speak - he took pity on me and maybe he was a little flattered at all the attention I bestowed on him and then maybe Im full of crap and hes just a nice guy. Oh what the hell, let me believe my illusions and fantasies, okay? After I got over seeing them in the flesh, I decided I would go over and watch the proceedings off to the side, totally silent and unobtrusive, I didnt want to make a fool out of myself nor get thrown out of the backstage area for being an idiot. It seemed that no one from the Sparks management etc. said anything to me or harassed me, they left me in total peace.
I observed the band doing their soundcheck. Ron practiced a surfing routine in front of a screen showing a Banzai Pipeline. Russell practiced vocals on I Predict and then going out into the audience and sitting next to the Marys mom and listened to see how the band sounded.
Ron and Russ were totally serious going over their set list for the night and would look over at me from time, they seemed a bit shy that I was there watching. I tried to blend in with the equipment so as to NOT make them nervous. After all, soundcheck is a very private moment and best not to have any onlookers. I was so silent and never muttered a word because I was petrified to disturb them. I wanted to be a fly on the wall, so to speak. As silent as I was, I was positive that I was shaking all over.
The finished their soundcheck and went off to eat dinner somewhere. I stayed with my Translator pals and had dinner in the backstage area. I wish I could have gone off with Ron and Russ....to watch them eat or whatever, collect their used spoon or fork. If you think is crazy sounding, I read somewhere that Morrissey collected their used utensils for his momentos after dining with them once!
The show was magnificent as usual, the band didnt wear the glitter suits but opted for tropical ensembles to go with the evening theme. The audience were given Hawaiian plastic leis as they entered the theater. The songs once again centered around Angst and Sparks In Outer Space - similar to the previous shows I had seen from the past year. The only glitch of the show was that the surf routine didnt work out as well as it did in the soundcheck. The film malfunctioned or the operator was out of sync. Ron was a bit ruffled at that, but he recovered beautifully and went back to his keyboard and hammed it up. I saw Ron and Russ having words with one of the technicians afterwards so I left them to take care of business, I didnt need to be witness to that side! I'd be surprised that the technician/roadie kept his job much longer after that, however.
There was a small party in a backstage room so, of course, I ended up in there. I felt out of place, like Waldo, you know, but I stood off and watched everyone. I saw Jane Wiedlin arrive and talked to friends while her eyes were riveted to Russ. Russ slowly made his way through the crowd and never once really looked at Jane. Eventually, he made it through the room and briefly said hello to her and then went onto another group of people. She seemed a bit miffed. Ron seemed to be having a good time, chatting with the band and friends, really low key since this was their hometown crowd. He looked as if he was getting ready to leave so I walked up to him and said something like Ive been a huge fan of yours and Ive been in the fan club since 1975 and he simply said OH really and smiled slyly. Yes, thanks for everything . I couldnt think of anything else to say, anything that would have been coherent, anyway. I was afraid Id start to babble or go into a trance and speak in tongues. I went back to my friends and watched him walk out the door.
I wondered if he really knew how much I loved him because I thought he was a genius. I DID NOT want to be a groupie and end up going home with either Ron or Russ, that was the furthest from my mind. I wonder if Mary told him that the crazy fan originally from Denver and now living in San Francisco was going to be in attendance and be prepared for anything. By the way, my last name was Gogue when I first started sending Ron and Russ fan mail, just for the record.
Well, thats it. I continued to remain in the fan club, buy all the latest albums and quietly went back to my life. It wasnt until I found the Sparks Internet site (thanks Steve), became a member of the Mael-List, met Madeline and found that she was the Sparks friend I had always been looking for, and found myself at the Sparks-O-Rama in Chicago that the Sparks Mania beast inside had been reawakened and came back to life with a vengeance. I had fun recalling my Sparks mania years but now Im ready for another round of inspired wackiness that only the Maels can provide. Are you ready Mary Martin?